The Real Reason Sleep Training Feels So Hard (And How to Make It Easier)
Let’s just say it:
Parenting is hard. Not sleeping is hard.
Sleep training can feel really hard.
Like “I just Googled if adults can survive on 3 hours of sleep indefinitely” hard. Like “Should I be driving a car when I’m this tired?” hard.
If you’re in the thick of it, please know—you are not alone. And despite what the internet or your great aunt or that one mom in your playgroup says, you’re not doing anything wrong.
The truth? Sleep training feels hard not because you're failing—it feels hard because you care so much.
It’s Not About Crying—It’s About Change
One of the biggest myths I hear (and try to bust every day) is that “sleep training = Cry It Out”.
Let me be clear:
Sleep training does NOT mean you have to leave your baby in a crib, close the door, and sob into a glass of wine while they cry themselves to sleep.
(Unless you want to sob into a glass of wine. In which case, I’ve got you.)
What sleep training does mean is helping your child learn independent sleep skills in a way that feels respectful and aligned with your parenting values. There are so many gentle, responsive ways to support sleep without ever feeling like you’re abandoning your baby.
So Why Does It Feel So Hard?
Let’s break it down:
You’re Tired
When your brain is foggy and your coffee is basically a food group, it’s harder to make decisions, stay consistent, or even remember what day it is. Of course sleep training feels impossible—you’re trying to fix sleep... without sleep.
You’ve Heard a LOT of Opinions
Between Facebook groups, TikTok "experts," and unsolicited advice from well-meaning relatives, you’ve probably heard 47 different ways to sleep train—and 46 reasons why you’ll ruin your baby doing it.
No wonder you're overwhelmed. You’re trying to make the right choice, but the noise makes it hard to hear your own instincts.
Change is Uncomfortable
Even small changes (like moving bedtime earlier or dropping a nap) can feel huge when you're already maxed out. And for your little one? Well, change is hard for them too—which is why support and consistency are key.
You’re Deeply Connected to Your Child
You love your baby. You’re wired to respond to their cues. Of course it feels emotional to hear them protest a new routine. But you can hold space for their feelings and set boundaries that lead to better sleep for everyone.
That’s not neglect. That’s parenting.
How to Make Sleep Training Feel Easier
Here’s what I tell every client:
Choose a method that feels right for YOU (not your mom’s neighbor’s daughter who “just did Cry It Out and it worked overnight”). In fact, when we work together I give you more than one option so that you do what is best for your family and your child. Sleep training is not one size fits all.
Get a clear plan in place—when you know what to do and why, you feel more confident sticking with it.
Have support—whether it’s your partner, your best friend, or a sleep consultant (hi), having someone to cheer you on makes a world of difference.
You’re Not “Too Soft”—You’re Strong AND Supportive
If you’ve ever worried that you’re “too emotional” or “too soft” for sleep training, please hear this:
You’re exactly the kind of parent your child needs.
The one who shows up. The one who cares. The one who googles sleep tips at 2am while whispering “Why won’t you sleep?!” like a bedtime mantra.
It’s okay to want more sleep.
It’s okay to ask for help.
And it’s absolutely okay to believe that good sleep and good parenting can go hand in hand.
Need a plan that works for your family?
I’d love to help. Whether you're looking for gentle, personalized support or just want someone to tell you what to do and when to do it, I’ve got you.
Let’s chat about a custom sleep plan – because better sleep is possible, and you don’t have to figure it out alone.